thornythepirate

Getting my home ready for a pair of ferrets I'm getting next week from the Washington Ferret Rescue Shelter, Stinky and Bandit. I already have new names ready for them, Rikki and Tavi. Some people will be able to figure out the reason behind the names. Or at least, anyone who knows about google.

My new window has replaced my french doors for a while now. The bed fits much better in my room next to it. I've had a French Horn again for a month or two, but I haven't found much time to play it, which is regrettable.

I've started playing Aion at the behest of a classmate who moved across the country. It's pretty fun at times, pretty aggravating at other times. I'm a bit worried at how it has sucked up a lot of my time, but I've been keeping busy with other things like Search and Rescue training so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

My laptop is back from the shop, hopefully for the last time. I'm taking Biology 160, Sociology 101, and English 235 this quarter. All night classes give me more time at home which is good, considering the new ferrets coming.

A friend asked me a while ago how my day at the beach was (and no, I didn't forget) and well, I'm sure everyone heard about my antics. Even with such excitement, it was barely tolerable... at the end when my friends got there. Before that it sucked primate testicles.

Not that I want to go into all that since it was so long ago, but I (with masterful skill and patience) caught pigeons in boxes. Not once, but twice, and then second time I got... shit was it two or three? Well more than one at the same time at least. Everyone then starts FREAKING out and I don't know why, I guess they thought I was like going to drown them or some crap like that, but whatever. I let them out inside of 3 minutes after I caught them and it was not anywhere near cruelty or anything like that. A bird is caught in a box, what does it do? It sits there in the dark practically turned off until the box opens and then it flies out. OMGJEZUSKRISTWHATDOYOUTHINKYOURDOINGBLAHblahblah. If what I did was so terrible then weddings must truly be a much more vicious and cruel affair than I have been led to believe.

ANYWAYS.

After Spring Quarter ended I took summer off to fix motorcycles, the house, get money, etc. Except the motorcycle couldn't be fixed (yet at least), and there were no jobs for me, or should I say, an EMT Certified 19-year-old with no resume. Go figure. So most of summer sucked. I guess. I didn't get a chance to do much except work on the house and clean, etc.

Also, I've been keeping to myself a lot more than usual. I haven't been online on messaging programs for months, and only did something on Facebook if it bothered me with emails or something. Dunno why really. Well, maybe I do. Whatever.

But things are looking up somewhat. My laptop just got sent to the shop again for the third time for the same problem, but it's actually getting better each time, so hopefully this is it. I just paid for a used Conn 6D Elkhart French Horn that should be arriving in four days, and we're about to replace my french doors with a big fancy double paned super efficient window. Also, getting my books for Autumn classes on Monday. I'm taking Biology 160, Sociology 101, and English 135: Technical Writing. (class numbers are more of a guess than anything, but basically right.)

SO THAT WAS MY SUMMER.

Almost time for psychology class. I'm all spiffed up, clean, shaved, and lookin' good.

The golden hours that I look forward to all week are upon me!

But then, I'm just gonna sit there, say nothing, do nothing, walk away, and feel crappy. Again. However, it's times like these that I try to remember the words of Courage-Depression dog:



FUCK YEAH!

...I'm still depressed though :(

     I just found out that my Psychology professor laid down and destroyed a 1983 Honda Shadow 750C. The very same model bike I own and ride right now. In fact, the same model as my bike that is parked in the Bellevue College parking lot. I thought it was interesting. Apparently it was an intense crash, and it's amazing he wasn't seriously hurt.

He's pretty cool.

Some asshat around Bellevue somewhere is jamming the 1090 kHz band. Now I can't listen to Air America. And no, it's not just noise. It's malicious interference.

Fuck. Probably some neo-con facist asshole.

:[

     I am shitting brix. Seriously now. Shit in my brain sux. I wanted to write about this yesterday, but I fell asleep. I don't even care that no one reads this. I'm going to write about everything anyways.

     I fucking think about you almost all the time. Well not almost, but fairly often. I am often busy or distracted with something else, but if it wasn't for that, I'd think about you all the time. It's crazy. And now I'm thinking of you because I think I'm where you were. It feels stupid but it's like some divine retribution or something, I'm sitting here head over heels for her and I don't think she even pays attention to me like that. If I'm not mistaken that's how things fell apart with us, and now I'm on the other side. shit sux.

     I had a dream where she didn't even understand how I felt, and it felt terrible. I had a dream where I punched your boyfriend in the fucking face and it was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced, in a dream at least. What sucks is that she has a boyfriend too and I feel too awkward to even talk to her, not even about how I feel, but almost anything. It eats at me inside and tears me to pieces when I think about how I can't have her, and how terrible I feel for thinking that I should have her, or she should be mine in the first place. She can like and love whoever she wants for christ's sake, why should my feelings be more important than hers? I get to thinking about how I had you, left you, want her, and can't have her, miss you, want you, blah blah blah emo shit and think about how much shit just sux.

     I get to thinking of how stupid it is that we act like we don't care, and act like we don't know each other, like we don't want each other, and move on, trying silently yet as loudly and powerfully as fucking possible to outdo, show up, and prove our independence from each other and how much better one is over the other, whenever we get the chance. Not to mention putting down and reveling in the torment of the other. This sick game of mutual sadism spirals downwards into an ever growing pit of ambivalent hatred and love. Although of course, we never admit this. Not even to ourselves.

     Of course, then again, this could just be me. But either way, I don't care. The bottom line is that I want to hear from you. I want to talk to you. I don't care what happened or what will happen. I don't think we'll ever be together again, I don't even think I want that completely. But I do want to re-initiate contact. If you do by any chance, look at this journal from time to time, just like I look at yours, than hopefully you'll read this and drop me a line. I would just message you, but if I'm wrong, and this whole thing isn't mutual, I don't want to bother you.

     And as for her, I wish that she would like me. I wish that she would see how cool I am and forgive how stupid I am sometimes (like now), and like me. And if she doesn't, than it would never have worked out anyways. So I guess I can find some peace in that thought. At least she's as excited as I am to hang out next week. That makes me feel good inside, if only for a moment.

Life is good, haven't used LJ in forever, thought I would like delete it or something, but I dunno.

No-fun job is over, applying for EMT jobs, good times in general.

that's about it.

So I took my EMT State Exam yesterday. Twas not difficult. I don't know if I'm allowed to say anything else about it :P

Now I wait a few weeks for the state to grade it and I get my certification! (once I am employed by a pre-hospital care facility within 18 months)

Anyways, since that's all but over with, I'm going to one college exclusively again! yay! Bellevue Community for the win. Astronomy 101, Psychology 100, and Chemistry 163.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS! :D

What else... Oh, work has begun on a (relatively) massive LittleBigPlanet campaign (9 levels) based on the ever famous and sucessful Fat Tony and Schlatski franchise (of middle school years long since passed). Hey, it'll be really awesome. You'll like the way it looks. I guarantee it.

(actually I don't.... Guarantee it that is. I like the way it looks. I guarantee that I like the way it looks because if I didn't, I'd tear it down and do it over.)

THIS IS OVERLY LONG-WINDED BECAUSE IT IS 1:44 AM AND I AM TIRED.

:|

2008 is gone and with it, some degree of freedom of irresponsibility. I've passed my EMT Pre-Test and am headed to North Seattle Community College to receive my training as an EMT-B. I feel like (and rightly so) that the farther I get in my medical career, or any career for that matter, the less room I have for other things, and less time for messing around. It seems obvious, I know, but until you get there yourself, they're just words.

2009 is here, and it's looking good so far! Finishing up the shooting on a short film that I "assistant directed" will be happening the night before my classes start, but It'll be fun, just like the rest of it was! I'm also working on professionalizing my room and computers (i.e. cleaning everything and being generally OCD about filesystems and such) to start the year well.

Apart from that, there's nothing to tell really, cheers and have a great 2009!

-Thorny

Well, summer is gone, and with it, that crazy busy schedule. In short, for crew we took two first place medals, for work I made a few thousand dollars and spent it all >:D and for school I finished with a 4.0. Cool, eh?

Well now college really started, and I was able to stay on top of things for awhile, but it wears me out :P I've got Philosophy 101, Pre-Calc II (decided to review some math and get some extra credits since my last math class was over a year ago), and Chemistry 161, the first of my inorganic Chem series. I love Chemistry, even though this class is more review than anything, however Math and Philosophy are a little bit more boring. And by boring I mean, REALLY GODDAMN BORING.

:|

Tomorrow I will be taking a Pre-test for an Emergency Medical Technician course. If I get in I will be able to get an EMT license after I finish the course and either find work or volunteer at any pre-hospital organization in Washington. I've been studying from the American Red Cross Emergency Responder textbook, which is the recommended material. I'm pretty excited for tomorrow :D

On a final note, I recently rebuilt the carbeurators for my motorcycle, a 1983 Honda Shadow VT750C and it has been running so beautifully since then, except for one small thing. Since it is 25 years old, the original rubber fuel tubing is a little bit aged, and one of the hoses has been leaking (That's where my mileage went!). It actually isn't really bad at all, but nontheless, I am going to replace all the tubing in the bike this weekend. Until then, I'll just have to drive the car around (oh no!) :D

They all start next week, and I will be REALLY busy for at least  a few months :3


:D         :E

Look at that. Three days of High School left. Graduation on the 17th. Here comes the future.

psh.

Everyone seems to be making the jump to college just that, a jump. There's nothing big about it. College isn't even that hard. I've been taking college classes through the Running Start program, and what I've seen is just laughable compared to what I thought it might be. I'm going to college for sure, and I can't wait. I'm looking forward to, in the words of Tom Lehrer, those bright college days.

In all of this commotion and consumerism of graduation, I look around and see all of my peers spending, literally hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for class rings, Prom, graduation parties, graduation and senior year merchandise. Why? To supposedly remember their amazing senior year of high school.

To what end? I ask.

It's all worthless. Not mention, senior year itself is worthless. There's nothing amazing or cool about high school, and looking at the requirements for graduation, it's not even an accomplishment. So the thought of even holding some kind of ceremony to recognize this big accomplishment is ridiculous.

tl;dr High School is over, it was easy and stupid, college is where it's at. Buying worthless crap is stupid, and so is the graduation ceremony.

lol, I found my old/new deviantART account :3 I had like, 2 other ones before, and then made this third one I never used until now.

thorn-e.deviantart.com

gogogogogog

On my way home today, I met some guy with and older lady who was clearly not looking well and was wearing a patient wristband. The man asked me where the entrance was to the Metro Tunnel. So I tell them and everything, and he asks me if I can help out like, money wise.

"I mean, she just got out of the hospital and we could really use it."

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK HOW CAN A HOSPITAL JUST, LET PATIENTS GO WITHOUT MAKING SURE THEY CAN GET HOME ALRIGHT, OR ARE EVEN ABLE TO SUPPORT THEMSELVES OR WHATEVER.

OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE THOSE HOSPITALS DON'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY, AND YOU SHOULD BUY INSURANCE ANYWAYS BECAUSE THE POOR INSURANCE EXECUTIVES WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY A THIRD YACHT.

OH, YOU BOUGHT INSURANCE? HOW LOVELY OF YOU- WAIT, YOU THINK YOU CAN HAVE YOUR MONEY BACK? YOU THINK WE ARE GOING TO HELP YOU WHEN YOU NEED IT? OH NONONONO, LULZ, CLEARLY YOU MADE A SPELLING ERROR ON FORM 13-X.593F-3 SO YOUR INSURANCE IS VOID. SO TERRIBLY SORRY. BUT THANKS FOR THE MONEY! :D

REMEMBER IDIOTS THAT INSURANCE COMPANIES WERE INVENTED TO MAKE MONEY, THATS WHY THEY ARE CALLED COMPANIES. THEY ARE NOT THERE TO HELP YOU, THEY ARE A BUSINESS AND THEY ARE THERE TO PREY ON THE WEAK, TAKE MONEY, AND FIND ANY REASON THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO AVOID GIVING IT BACK. HOW ELSE WOULD THEY MAKE A PROFIT!??

"Wanna hear a joke?"
"What is it?"
"The United States health-care system."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS IS DISGUSTING AND TERRIBLE AND OH GOD MY BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE. YEAH, GO INSURED PRIVATE MEDICINE. I MEAN, AFTER ALL, MEDICINE IS A BUSINESS, AND IT SHOULD BE RUN LIKE ONE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

i fucking hate shit like this.

Lots of things have happened in this past, like, half a year, and guess what!


I AM TOO LAZY TO WRITE IT ALL OUT FOR YOU PEOPLE THAT DON'T READ THIS ANYWAYS.

(:


-Thorny

...is almost over, and I'm almost done with my semester project for AP Literature, as if anybody cares :3 Anyways, I'm not really allowed to say, but I have considerably broken through some really bad walls of an old friends of mine. And Chloe is being all weird and not replying to me, so screw that.

Nothin' else exciting really, got a 2GB jump-drive for Christmas (my old, 512MB got stoled... I wonder who did it... oh wait, never mind, they can't use computers...) and the softest blanket known to mankind. Ever. And also a stethoscope and other random things...

New Year's Day was a blast, especially the part when the fireworks at the space needle totally failed.

GO SEATTLE! YEAH!!

Just kidding, I love you Seattle. (...like a mom loves an ugly child...)

<3Your Pirate :3

Yesterday, Chloe "approached" me with questions regarding Julie. She said that people told her that I was a bad person, and the she should stay away from me. People also told her that Julie had broken up with me and that I stalked her after that. Well, to be accurate, she didn't know it was Julie, just my "ex-girlfriend." Well, I obviously set things straight, but I still have a seed of insecurity deep in my throat, and it makes it harder to think and function normally when it keeps on scratching. What if Chloe doesn't believe me? What the fuck kind of situation would that be?! I don't want to be haunted by ghosts of the past. They're not even ghosts, they are fantasies created by a heartbroken, stubborn, scornful, relentless human being. I hurt Julie by not loving her anymore, and telling her the truth. For that, I have to pay.
She was ruthless to me, and manipulative to anyone else, stretching and breaking the truth until she created an illusion of reality where she was a poor, defenseless girl at the hands of the evil Thorny, who practically raped her of everything, and when she left him, he stalked her like a panther, waiting for a chance to strike again.

When the truth is, we liked each other, then we loved each other, and we were together. Of course we weren't perfect, we had arguments, but we made up. We tried to identify our problems and get around them. But for some reason, something changed, me, her, I don't know, but I know with each day I liked her less and less, I eventually broke it off because I didn't want to get into a situation where I would be expected to say "I love you," but not feel it inside. Of course I literally had never broken up with someone before, so I obviously sucked at it. My worst mistake was trying to help her. Irony, how messed up is that?

I don't think half this shit would be happening if I just completely shut myself off from her, but I didn't, and tried to be a friend to help her with her grief. Well now I know for sure, that a dead husband can't be allowed to help the widow, no mater how many people in his life died, or how much he thinks he can help make it easier, for a very simple reason. His presence and consoling will- in her mind- only beg the question, "if you can be here to help me, why can't you be here to be with me?"

His answer is simple, "because I am dead." He is only there because his loved ones have died, and he thinks he knows something about how to use his experiences to help her through the grieving process. He might be dead, but he still cares about her. But his presence ends up only hurting her more. From her perspective, she just sees him there, and doesn't understand how a dead person can help the living. So she hopes he's not dead, but of course, he is. After even more pain caused by the figure of her dead husband, the only thing she has left is to denounce him. She rejects him and her memories of him. Then, when trying to get into heaven, St. Peter has only heard the guy's wife say how horrible he is, and asks, "I heard you are a bad person..." When all the guy was trying to do was to help his wife grieve. Is that so bad?

Well anyways, Chloe's away for now, and I haven't talked to her since Friday.

I also went to Bryan's today, and helped him move. The new place is technically smaller, but we are making a more efficient use of the space we have, so it actually feels bigger.

While I was there, we got our first winter snow! And it was pretty good for a first fall. I wonder where Chloe is and how much fun she's having with it :3

-Thorny

PROTIP: The dead husband and widow is a metaphor for luv (Dead = not in love, Alive = <3) lolol.

stop the car!

It's been awhile, but of course anyone reading this (if anyone) wouldn't feel the difference in time because this post looks just like the last except for that little date in the corner.

ANYWAYS

Got a new lappy (laptop for the un-something people),
School started,
and stuff is funny.

SCHOOL STARTED TWO DAYS AGO. As in September 10th.

Classes are fun. No math this year (YES~!), lots of science classes, and Japanese (meh).
Carpool to school with a friend, and take the bus home by myself :S ... At least until rowing season ends (8 weeks), when we will be trading off who drives to and from school.

Remember kids,

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

Shoop da Whoop! I got Descent II working natively for my Ubuntu x86_64 system, woot!

I got the source code, compiled it for my architecture, and copied the data from the DOS/Windows version CD and poof! 64-bit Linux Descent! :D

...Why the hell doesn't Volition Inc. (which used to be Parallax software, which split into Volition Inc. and Outrage Entertainment, that both got bought by THQ, and then Outrage, the only one which seemed to be making progress with the series, got shutdown) make another Descent game? They love to quote how the Descent games were almost literally, the best games ever made (Descent II got the second all time highest score ever to this day for a game, by some big game review company), so why don't they continue with the support of a loyal fan base and confidence in practically guaranteed sales and profit???

In fact, a Descent 4 was about to be finished, but the guys working on it had to shut it down due to copyright limitations of Parallax Software which doesn't even exist anymore!
Bastards. They got our hopes up (Even with a FAQ on Planet Descent answering an "is this real?" question with absolutely yes), Only to slap us in the face and shut down our hopes of flying the PyroGX again (especially with super fancy graphics).

Ah well, at least I can get down and boogie with some evil virus-infected mining robots across the galaxy (with a 64-bit binary).

Old DOS game completely unnecessarily compiled in 64-bit due to it's simplicity by today's standards!!!! Huzzah!

is so cool. I love driving it, I love working on it, I love its radio, it's engine, it's transmission... i love it.

<3

it has a moon roof too. And even though it's 12 years old, it's in flawless condition :3